Moving from fear to Pleasure

At times still considered taboo, anal play is a wonderland of possibility and pleasure.

It can also be scary as fuck.

I know I’ve felt that way in the past.

I had seen anal sex through Porn and cringed at the images. It always happened so fast and looked so so painful.

It took some time to realize that it could bring spiritual experiences of bliss and surrender.

Before I could feel that though, I first had to unlearn what I saw in Porn and relearn how to really engage in this kind intimacy.

If you want to have the kind of anal play that is enjoyable and orgasmic, here are some things to consider from a woman who has been there:

SHIT

Yup, let’s talk about shit.

Because if you go into anal play unprepared, things will get messy.

With knowledge comes great power.

When you get comfortable with the fact that you might have to remove shit and clean your asshole, you will have a better experience with the act.

I remember when I first cleaned my ass for this purpose. I felt awkward and shameful.

But when I saw it as something that everyone did I was able to get used to this process.

Remember: It’s natural.

I shit.

You shit.

We all shit.

To have a fun anal experience, you have to make peace with that truth.

Once you do you can become prepared to lessen the mess or avoid it altogether.

Enemas, self cleaning techniques, and regular maintenance will help with that.

The shower is a friend. Stay clean and there will be no problems.

THE VARIETY POSSIBLE

Anal play isn’t just penis/dildo into the ass hole.

There are many ways to play.

Spanking.

Rimming.

Biting.

Fingers.

Blowing on the asshole.

Massaging.

Vibration.

So much is possible.

Don’t feel pressured into going full penetration before you are ready.

In my first anal experience, I was not quite ready.

I felt pressure by my partner at the time and would have rather waited.

Don’t let anyone try to talk you into something until you want to do it yourself.

Start slow.

Engage in curiosity.

Communicate with your partner about how you are feeling.

If you want to stop, let them know.

If you want to go further, let them know.

Follow your pleasure.

BUILD UP TO FULL PENETRATION

When you are ready for insertion, don’t go 0 to 100 right away.

The asshole is a muscle, it needs to be stretched.

Especially if the object you are inserting is large.

The first time my ex penetrated me was not much of a stretch since he was small, but there was still some preparation involved.

My husband is large so that means more time getting the asshole ready.

Foreplay is key here.

Engage in a lot of kissing.

Have your partner massage your back and ass.

Enjoy the process of sensual pleasure.

When you’re prepared to move to the next stage a finger is a great place to start.

Make sure there is a lot of lube. You never want to put anything in dry.

Slowly work the muscles relaxed. This will ensure a more pleasurable experience.

Again, follow the feeling.

If it stings too much, communicate to go even slower.

Buy a small toy if that helps.

Remember: anything going into the ass has to have a stopper. A base that would prevent it from going completely inside.

Take deep breaths to help in relaxation. The more relaxed you are, the smoother it goes.

Try for another finger when you’re ready, then another.

Engage in your clitoris to relax more into pleasure.

Continue the process until you are ready to be penetrated with a cock or a larger dildo.

Always communicate, take it easy, and don’t be afraid to say stop if you need it.

Anal play doesn’t have to be scary.

It doesn’t have to be rushed or forced.

It if for you to enjoy.

It can be a beautiful and pleasurable experience.

I hope these considerations help get you there.

Written By Tania Maldonado - @iamtaniahart